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However uneasy we might be feeling about this World Cup, we urgently need the matches to get going now to save us all from terrible content.<\/p>\n
There is just an unholy quantity of transfer guff in here today.<\/p>\n
And the one mention of the World Cup<\/strong> that gets in made Mediawatch do a sick in our mouth.<\/p>\n So, you know, fair warning.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n We will always doff the cap to this headline trick. The Mirror<\/strong> deploy it perfectly today. Sorry, TODAY.<\/p>\n Liverpool transfer set to be announced TODAY as press conference scheduled<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n That \u2018Liverpool transfer\u2019 would be Ibrahima Konate joining Real Madrid. We see you, Daily Mirror. Don\u2019t look at us like that. You know what you did.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Football.london<\/strong> clearly have a new favourite thing, based on a selection of recent headlines.<\/p>\n Morgan Rogers to Arsenal transfer \u2018decided\u2019 as Mikel Arteta sent glaring warning<\/p>\n Xabi Alonso\u2019s first blockbuster Chelsea signing \u2018decided\u2019 and \u00a3120m Arsenal transfer hijack tipped<\/p>\n Marc Cucurella Chelsea future \u2018decided\u2019 as Xabi Alonso told to make tough summer transfer call<\/p>\n Tottenham\u2019s next summer transfer \u2018decided\u2019 as \u00a360million star finally signed<\/p>\n Obviously the absolute key here is that in absolutely none of these stories has anything actually been \u2018decided\u2019.<\/p>\n Or more accurately, we suppose, nothing in these stories has been \u2018decided\u2019 by anyone in a position to actually decide on the matters at hand.<\/p>\n That the headlines might accidentally make it look like the stories contain viable content about things actually happening is just sheer bad luck, we\u2019re sure.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s trundle through the formalities, if we must. Morgan Rogers to Arsenal has been \u2018decided\u2019 by three journalists, two of whom have said \u2018Yes, Arsenal should sign Morgan Rogers\u2019 and one who has said \u2018No, Arsenal should not sign Morgan Rogers\u2019. Mediawatch humbly contends that even on its own flimsy merits this story doesn\u2019t ultimately have appeared to \u2018decide\u2019 a matter where one writer calls it \u2018an easy yes\u2019 and another calls him \u2018the wrong attacking option\u2019.<\/p>\n Nobody here, interestingly, is giving any thought at all to any role Aston Villa might have in \u2018deciding\u2019 any of this. Only Arsenal matter here.<\/p>\n Mar Cucurella\u2019s future is similarly \u2018decided\u2019 by a panel of three who again \u2018decide\u2019 the matter by disagreeing about it.<\/p>\n Xabi Alonso\u2019s first blockbuster signing has been \u2018decided\u2019 by Glen Johnson, who has \u2018decided\u2019 they should sign Julian Alvarez which helpfully also constitutes a \u2018\u00a3120m Arsenal transfer hijack\u2019. To be fair, it doesn\u2019t seem the worst idea we\u2019ve ever heard.<\/p>\n Are Chelsea actually in the business of signing Julian Alvarez, though? Given that rather than being \u2018decided\u2019 as a Chelsea signing or sufficiently Arsenal-bound to really count as a hijack, he is in fact most likely heading to Barcelona?<\/p>\n Barca seem to be the favourites at the moment\u2026<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n An interesting concession from the writer here given it\u2019s a \u2018decided\u2019 Chelsea signing and an \u2018Arsenal hijack\u2019.<\/p>\n \u2026but Chelsea have been loosely linked with Alvarez for quite some time now.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Very loosely, we would contend.<\/p>\n As for Spurs, meanwhile, that \u2018decided\u2019 transfer is the long-touted Savinho from Man City and perhaps the best of the lot because it\u2019s been \u2018decided\u2019 entirely by one writer \u2013 not even a panel of three \u2013 concluding at the end of a bog-standard \u2018reportedly\u2019 heavy news story that:<\/p>\n Savinho could \u2013 and should \u2013 make the long-awaited move to reignite his career after missing out on Brazil\u2019s squad for the World Cup.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Mediawatch has \u2018decided\u2019 something, but we\u2019ve been advised we\u2019re not allowed to use that kind of language.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n A pure housery of a headline from the Mirror<\/strong> here as Virgil van Dijk talks about Arne Slot.<\/p>\n Liverpool captain Virgil van Dijk makes Arne Slot sack confession after damaging leaks<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n We can at least all agree that the reports that emerged about Slot\u2019s Liverpool departure before it was confirmed do at least qualify for what everyone understands the word \u2018leaks\u2019 to mean. Shouldn\u2019t mean much, but after two days in which it\u2019s meant \u2018FIFA officially announcing something on the day they said they would announce the thing\u2019<\/strong> we must be grateful at least for that.<\/p>\n So we can move swiftly on to \u2018confession\u2019. Because, and this won\u2019t surprise you, there is absolutely nothing from Van Dijk that comes close to even an admission, never mind the even more loaded confession.<\/p>\n We\u2019ve read and re-read Van Dijk\u2019s quotes and as far as we can tell the Mirror are genuinely using \u2018confession\u2019 \u2013 a word that specifically means an admission of crime or wrongdoing \u2013 to refer to Van Dijk learning of Slot\u2019s departure via the aforementioned leaks.<\/p>\n We\u2019ve said it before, we\u2019ll say it again, it will have no impact on anything, but nevertheless: words have meanings.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Just in case everything else \u2013 up to and including the organisers latest little money-grabbing about-turn and broken promise<\/strong> \u2013 hasn\u2019t managed to put you off this World Cup, we put it to you that this one will do it.<\/p>\n Bear in mind that when a bleary-eyed Mediawatch switched on our laptop this morning, these were literally the first words we saw.<\/p>\n Piers Morgan, Simon Jordan, and John Terry Launch World Cup Uncensored Show<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Might be a new record for just how quickly we\u2019ve reached \u2018That\u2019s enough internet for today\u2019 status.<\/p>\n At least it consolidates the three of them into one manageable, must-avoid show.<\/p>\n <\/div>\nIn Con<\/h2>\n
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Decision time<\/h2>\n
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Leak soup<\/h2>\n
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Censory deprivation<\/h2>\n
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