{"id":1729,"date":"2026-06-03T20:12:22","date_gmt":"2026-06-03T20:12:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/esport.com.ng\/?p=1729"},"modified":"2026-06-03T20:12:22","modified_gmt":"2026-06-03T20:12:22","slug":"just-how-many-fans-turned-up-to-watch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/esport.com.ng\/?p=1729","title":{"rendered":"just how many fans turned up to watch?"},"content":{"rendered":"


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For just about the last time, Mediawatch finds itself reflecting on the 25\/26 season which has now completed its very last knockings. From tomorrow, it\u2019s full speed into the World Cup and heaven help us all.<\/p>\n

That can wait, though. Today we\u2019ve got some numberwang from the Arsenal parade, Keysey being peculiar even by his standards, and a new hero emerges to cover Soccer Aid with the gravity and solemnity more usually associated with a state funeral.<\/p>\n

Too right the World Cup can wait.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

The Big Show<\/h2>\n

Arsenal\u2019s Premier League title parade was quite the thing, spirits barely dampened by the previous night\u2019s Champions League final defeat<\/strong> as masses of Arsenal fans took to the streets to celebrate their first Premier League trophy since 2004<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

But just how many Arsenal fans were there? Let\u2019s find out.<\/p>\n

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Arsenal\u2019s victory parade through the streets of London drew hundreds of thousands of\u00a0Gunners\u00a0fans celebrating the club\u2019s Premier League triumph. (Daily Mirror<\/strong>)<\/p>\n

Chaos as 75 fans rescued from height, 16 arrested and 1 stabbed after \u2018up to 1million\u2019 lined streets for Arsenal parade (The Sun<\/strong>)<\/p>\n

OVER 750,000 Arsenal fans reportedly lined the 5.6-mile route as red flares were let off and revellers climbed trees and traffic lights (The Sun<\/strong> again)<\/p>\n

Arsenal\u00a0celebrated their\u00a0Premier League\u00a0title triumph in style on Sunday, with over one million fans turning out across a five-mile loop through north London.\u00a0(Daily Express<\/strong>)<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

We\u2019re very confident \u2018hundreds of thousands\u2019 is indisputably correct. And just as with an advert for any product that claims to remove \u2018up to 100 per cent\u2019 of anything, we have to go along with \u2018up to 1million\u2019 even if we obviously wouldn\u2019t write it like that because we still have a little thing called shame. Although why stop at up to 1million? Why not up to 8billion?<\/p>\n

Over 750,000 and we start to become sceptical. Over one million? Hmm. But congratulations to the Express for winning the biggest number award on this occasion.<\/p>\n

Obviously X-formerly-Twitter doesn\u2019t count because it\u2019s a lawless wasteland of guff and doublespeak and outright deliberate lies, but let the record show on there it was apparently 1.5 million.<\/p>\n

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Eze does it<\/h2>\n

Speaking of X-formerly-Twitter and the Arsenal parade, among those hundreds of thousands of 1.5 million people was Eberechi Eze, with a Premier League medal around his neck and a trophy in his hands. Worth bearing in mind when considering this unhinged offering from Richard Keys.<\/p>\n

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I know Villa can be \u2018resolute\u2019 as well but if I\u2019m Morgan Rogers I\u2019m not going anywhere near Arsenal. He should ask Eze how he feels about his move. I guess if he did sign he could do that sitting next to him on the bench. Football is to be enjoyed not endured pic.twitter.com\/PhBzcTTddF<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2014 Richard Keys (@richardajkeys) June 1, 2026<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Now we do apologise for bringing Keysey to your attention. It\u2019s possible that until that moment you were enjoying a perfectly pleasant Monday.<\/p>\n

Mediawatch always applies a high bar with Keys because pretty much everything he says is, by definition, deranged. It\u2019s the same standard to which your Piers Morgans and the Jamie O\u2019Haras of this world are held. It\u2019s not a club you should want to be a member of. Looking at you, Gabby Agbonlahor and Jason Cundy.<\/p>\n

But \u2018ask Eze how he feels about his move\u2019 to Arsenal? Sorry, what? The cautionary tale of the man who joined his boyhood club and won the Premier League title in his first season before playing in the Champions League final and then heading off to represent his country at the World Cup? And posted literally the day after OVER SOME MILLION PEOPLE lined the streets of London to celebrate that Premier League title? This comfortably clears even the strictest of nonsense thresholds.<\/p>\n

We won\u2019t speak for Eze, but we\u2019re enormously confident he feels pretty, pretty, pretty good about his move.<\/p>\n

And just to conclude the formalities.<\/p>\n

Total first-team minutes for benchwarming cautionary tale Eberechi Eze at Arsenal in 25\/26: 3118<\/p>\n

Total first-team minutes for guaranteed starter superstar Eberechi Eze at Crystal Palace in 24\/25: 3303<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

First Aid<\/h2>\n

Mediawatch is a grumpy old cove but we are at least blessed with a smidgeon of self-awareness. Enough, at least, that we know Soccer Aid isn\u2019t for us and that\u2019s fine. We\u2019re not quite sure precisely when and how celebrities were able to hoodwink the general public into sponsoring them<\/em> to go through the trials and tribulations of\u2026 living out their childhood dreams for almost real, but you know what? Fine. It\u2019s fine.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s for a good cause. We don\u2019t have to watch it, so we don\u2019t. But we could not help but be drawn to this headline from the Mirror<\/strong> and letting out a hearty chuckle.<\/p>\n

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Soccer Aid 2026 player ratings: Angry Ginge and Jermain Defoe steal the show for England<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Truly, WATTBA.<\/p>\n

And we really need you all to know that when we say this we say it with our whole chest: Kieran Horn, the man behind these ratings, is our new hero. Unironically and unapologetically.<\/p>\n

What he\u2019s done, and this really is magnificent work, is simply play it totally deadpan and gun-barrel straight. He\u2019s written these ratings like they were ratings from an actual football match. There is neither a knowing nod nor sly wink to be found here. Absolutely straight as an arrow is our man Horn.<\/p>\n

We\u2019d have resorted to nudge-nudge PLEASE NOTICE WE ARE JOKING panic long before getting round to praising Danny Dyer for holding off Lukas Podolski.<\/p>\n

And we like to think he knows exactly what he\u2019s doing and exactly how funny that makes the whole thing, from the headline down.<\/p>\n

We put it to you that any universe where the sentence\u2026<\/p>\n

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Jack Whitehall \u2013\u00a0Showed no sign of being lethargic after travelling back from Budapest but perhaps should have got across to Michael Essien sooner before his goal.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u2026can exist is by definition better than any universe where it cannot.<\/p>\n

We salute anyone who can write with such convincing and apparently sincere solemnity about a comedian, who had been on the lash in Budapest less than 24 hours earlier, being guilty of not quite tracking the run of one of the finest midfielders of his generation.<\/p>\n

Other highlights include:<\/p>\n

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Lukas Podolski \u2013\u00a0Missed two great chances after being introduced at half-time.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Some things never change. And\u2026<\/p>\n

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Frankie Dettori \u2013\u00a0Was thrown on for the final seven minutes.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Not literally, we hope.<\/p>\n

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