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There\u2019s some much-needed good news for Spurs, whose doom-spiralling fans will be delighted to know their absolutely terrible team is about to go on something of a run.<\/p>\n
This Monday morn also brings the real story from Wembley and a definitely real and worrying transfer update for quad-mourning Arsenal.<\/p>\n
Mediawatch is as surprised as anyone to discover that things are thus worse for Arsenal than they are for Tottenham at this time, but you can\u2019t argue with the facts.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Nico O\u2019Reilly\u2019s quickfire double as Manchester City ended Arsenal\u2019s quadruple dream<\/strong> was a gift to headline writers, and they didn\u2019t disappoint as this collection of on-brand work shows.<\/p>\n CRIKEY O\u2019REILLY \u2013 Daily Mirror<\/strong><\/p>\n LIFE O\u2019REILLY \u2013 The Sun<\/strong><\/p>\n Man City made it look like Arsenal were playing with nine men at Wembley. Now their dismayed supporters will live in fear defeat will bleed into Premier League \u2013 Daily Mail<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n You must forgive Mediawatch\u2019s geeky obsession with headlines, but this one from the Mirror<\/strong> excited us a little bit.<\/p>\n Newcastle United learn disallowed goal verdict as Sunderland \u2018got away with one\u2019<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Now you and we are very familiar with the long-standing tactic of using the humble, innocent-looking \u2018as\u2019 to make two entirely unconnected and very flimsy pieces of information appear to represent one compelling whole (there\u2019s a lovely example coming up later on in here, for instance, look forward to that), but this is slightly different and thus \u2013 to us, at least \u2013 fascinating.<\/p>\n This is using two pieces of information that are related, but reach entirely opposite conclusions to form one completely misleading whole.<\/p>\n What you have here is a headline that equates the \u2018disallowed goal verdict\u2019 of Darren Cann, who knows what he\u2019s talking about, with a mysterious \u2018some\u2019 who apparently believed Sunderland \u2018got away with one\u2019.<\/p>\n Newcastle United defender Malick Thiaw was rightly denied a goal in the <\/span>Tyne-Wear derby against Sunderland, according to a former <\/span>Premier League <\/span>official. Ex-assistant referee Darren Cann has stated that Jacob Murphy\u2019s interference from an offside position cost the Magpies their goal, despite some believing <\/span>Sunderland <\/span>\u2018got away with one\u2019.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n And thus you have a headline that heavily implies Newcastle have been robbed when the only expert testimony says the exact opposite.<\/p>\n And as for the \u2018some\u2019 who said Sunderland \u2018got away with one\u2019? Turns out that\u2019s actually just Alan Smith on commentary for Sky. To be honest, good call not to undermine the intro with that information. On balance, we\u2019d agree it probably is better to have people assume it\u2019s just some randoms off twitter.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n At last, some good news for long-suffering Spurs fans as their wretched team continues to banter them into submission. Fret no longer! You\u2019re going to stay up! Hooray! According to a Supercomputer! Ah.<\/p>\n Now Mediawatch enjoys mocking the predictions of Supercomputers as much as anyone else, but this one does seem to be malfunctioning particularly badly.<\/p>\n Ticking absolutely every single box, The Sun<\/strong> bring us this vital and very real update.<\/p>\n Boffins and brainiacs over at\u00a0Aceodds\u00a0have crunched the numbers using their BETSiE supercomputer.<\/p>\n And they reckon that Tottenham are going to stay up by the skin of their teeth.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n The thing is, they don\u2019t. They actually have Spurs p*ssing it by four whole entire points. Because the supercomputer, in its great supercomputery wisdom, believes that a Spurs team that has managed five points and no wins in 13 Premier League games this year<\/strong> is about to go and win three (and draw two) of its remaining seven to end up with 41 points and finish four clear of relegated West Ham.<\/p>\n Now\u2026 it could<\/em> happen, but we would struggle to consider that the most plausible of all possible scenarios from this point. And even The Sun, who have never yet met a supercomputer they didn\u2019t trust implicitly, are having doubts.<\/p>\n But given that they have not won in the Premier League since December 28, fans may baulk at the idea of suddenly winning three of their last seven.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Indeed they might. We don\u2019t want to cast doubt on the prognostications of a supercomputer that\u2019s operated by both boffins AND brainiacs, but have they considered switching BETSiE off and on again?<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Never let it be said The Sun<\/strong> can\u2019t find the real angle from any football match, though. And It wasn\u2019t Crikey\/Blimey\/Life O\u2019Reilly at Wembley on Sunday. Or Kepa. Or even Arteta<\/strong>. No, it was this.<\/p>\n Gallagher brothers in rare joint outing as they reunite at Wembley with Liam spotted going wild as Man City beat Arsenal<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Yes, a rare joint outing for the Gallagher brothers, there. As long as you forget the quite notable and very public world tour they went on together last year.<\/p>\n Still, great to see them \u2018reunite\u2019 at Wembley for the first time since appearing in front of *checks notes* 160,000 people there across two nights in *checks notes again* September after *checks fictional notes a third time due to frankly ill-judged commitment to tired bit* playing in front of over 400,000 people there in July and August.<\/p>\n We\u2019re being naughty, though. The Sun have explained their reasoning.<\/p>\n It\u2019s believed this is their first joint public appearance since their original split in 2009, aside from appearing at gigs or rehearsals together<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n It is their first joint public appearance since 2009, as long as you ignore all the other ones.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n Expert headline construction work here from the oft-overlooked Daily Star<\/strong>. They may be very much the smallest of the three surviving red-tops, but they can still deliver a sh*thouse headline with the best of them.<\/p>\n Arsenal news: Man Utd eye Gunners star as Mikel Arteta favourite admits transfer link<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n The \u2018Gunners star\u2019 Man United have their eye on is third-choice left-back Myles Lewis-Skelly, who hasn\u2019t played a minute of Premier League football since January. How do we know United are after him? The Star tell us it was reported by their Reach stablemates across the desk at the Mirror.<\/p>\n A quick look at their near-identical story just says United are \u2018reportedly\u2019 considering an approach without even mentioning where those reports come from. Missed a trick here, really; they should have completed the circle-jerk and said it was the Daily Star.<\/p>\n Anyway, think we can safely file every element of that under bullsh*t. But wait, what\u2019s this about a \u2018Mikel Arteta favourite\u2019 admitting a transfer link?<\/p>\n That would be David Raya, the Mikel Arteta favourite who quite significantly was not selected by Mikel Arteta for the Carabao Cup final. And the transfer link? That Bayern Munich tried to sign him. Before he signed for Arsenal.<\/p>\n So\u2026 also bullsh*t. But splice those two bulls*its together, if that\u2019s even a thing you can do with bullsh*ts, and you\u2019ve got a headline that suggests one of the biggest football clubs in the country is about to sign a \u2018favourite\u2019 from another of the biggest football clubs in the country, and also that the news has come from the player himself.<\/p>\n Glorious.<\/p>\n <\/div>\nGetting away with it<\/h2>\n
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Super Spurs<\/h2>\n
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Oasis of calm<\/h2>\n
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Playing favourites<\/h2>\n
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