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There have definitely been no leaks about England\u2019s 55-man provisional World Cup squad, merely whispers that only Important Journalists and not the likes of you get to hear about.<\/p>\n
Which would be odd but fine if said Important Journalists\u2019 own newspapers weren\u2019t reporting the leaks that apparently didn\u2019t happen.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, in a delightful twist, there\u2019s a rare case of self-sh*thousing over at the Daily Express, plus news of a Declan Rice sacrifice.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
John Cross in wild form for the Mirror<\/strong> on England\u2019s 55-man provisional World Cup squad<\/strong> after his impassioned pleas for Ivan Toney to be Tuchel\u2019s \u2018wildcard\u2019<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Now he declares Myles Lewis-Skelly MUST be on Thomas Tuchel\u2019s longlist in a manner that suggests there is any doubt that Myles Lewis-Skelly is on Thomas Tuchel\u2019s longlist.<\/p>\n We don\u2019t even disagree with much Cross has said about Lewis-Skelly\u2019s redemptive comeback over recent weeks, but the spicy take if you want to offer one here is about MLS making the actual final 26-man squad. His presence on the longlist is surely a formality.<\/p>\n The thing, you see, with a 55-man list is that it contains 55 names and that really is an awful lot of footballers. Thomas Tuchel has only selected 51 different players for England throughout his time in charge. Given some of those are now injured or have retired or have been conspicuously discarded, the prospect of an in-form player he has previously selected not<\/em> being on that list is really not worth getting in a tizz about.<\/p>\n Then there\u2019s Cross\u2019 England squad ratings which forensically measure how likely a player is perceived to be for a place in the final squad. Not for Cross the traditional and insufficiently precise blunt instrument of the On The Plane\/Staying At Home dichotomy.<\/p>\n We always do love an arbitrary numerical rating system here and remain fascinated by the idea that Jordan Pickford and Harry Kane are given entirely fair 10\/10 ratings but Declan Rice gets only a 9\/10.<\/p>\n The best bit, though, comes as Cross explains to us mere mortals from his Important Journalist ivory tower how the whole unpublished 55-man provisional squad works, while also revealing he knows perfectly well Lewis-Skelly will surely be among the names on that list.<\/p>\n Again, Tuchel is likely to pick all and sundry into the 55. It\u2019s not public. There have been no leaks. Instead, journalists, players and clubs do hear whispers. Leaks is a term used by people who don\u2019t hear the whispers. The waiting game is on.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n That pompous semantic pedantry has us all told. We\u2019ll give you three whispered guesses which newspaper published this headline after details of three members of Tuchel\u2019s 55 emerged via whispers but absolutely definitely not leaks.<\/p>\n England World Cup squad \u2018leaked\u2019 as Thomas Tuchel gives trio shock chance<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n To be fair, we do prefer\u2026<\/p>\n England World Cup squad \u2018whispered\u2019 as Thomas Tuchel gives trio shock chance<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n We are once again asking the Daily Mail<\/strong> to please understand that not absolutely everything has to go in the headline.<\/p>\n Take this extensive report on last night\u2019s Championship play-off clash.<\/p>\n Roy Keane\u2019s future son-in-law is accused of \u2018discriminatory\u2019 language by opponent as Southampton beat Middlesbrough in heated clash to reach play-off final amid Spygate scandal<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n That is just altogether too much content for one paragraph, never mind one headline.<\/p>\n Not enough room to actually name the player accused of \u2018discriminatory\u2019 language, of course, with Taylor Harwood-Bellis\u2019 role in headlines now and evermore entirely settled. He\u2019s \u2018Roy Keane\u2019s future son-in-law\u2019 now, he will become \u2018Roy Keane\u2019s son-in-law\u2019 but hopefully not, God willing, ever \u2018Roy Keane\u2019s former son-in-law\u2019.<\/p>\n What he will never, ever be, no matter how high he flies in this great game of ours, is Taylor Harwood-Bellis. He is Roy Keane\u2019s future son-in-law. That\u2019s his job.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n You will have to indulge Mediawatch here as we pull our smuggest face, go full Captain Raymond Holt and claim our vindication with absolute glee and zero chill.<\/p>\n For years and years we\u2019ve complained about deliberately sh*thouse tabloid headlines that insult and disrespect readers, headlines designed specifically to deceive and mislead you into clicking on something that isn\u2019t really saying what it looks like it\u2019s saying.<\/p>\n And now? The Daily Express<\/strong> have managed to trick themselves with one of their own sh*thouse headlines.<\/p>\n The headline in question is this:<\/p>\n The 51 players Thomas Tuchel has called up for England as he submits World Cup squad<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n The content itself was actually fine. There\u2019s no real harm at all in listing the 51 players Tuchel has previously picked for England as he names a 55-man provisional World Cup squad. The similarity in those numbers is a handy point of reference and clearly the vast majority of that 51 \u2013 at least the ones who aren\u2019t now retired or injured \u2013 will be on that undisclosed (unless you\u2019re a very special whisper-hearing journalist, of course) 55-man list.<\/p>\n We even referenced that number ourselves just up there in the John Cross bit, look, because it is relevant. Absolutely fine.<\/p>\n But what the Express did and knew they did was put that content under a headline that heavily implied without actually directly saying \u2013 via the classic deployment of \u2018as\u2019 to cut-and-shut the two parts of the story together \u2013 he had named a 51-man squad now<\/em>.<\/p>\n Until this moment, there has always been a hint at least of plausible deniability about what they were up to. Oh, does that look misleading? Gah! That is the one thing we didn\u2019t want to happen. Alas and indeed alack.<\/p>\n But that all rather falls down when another of your own journalists sees your sh*thousing, falls for your sh*thousing, makes the exact comprehension error you hoped for, and then links back to your sh*thouse headline while making said error.<\/p>\n Earlier this week,\u00a0Thomas Tuchel named his provisional 51-man squad\u00a0for the tournament \u2013 something that will have to be whittled down to 26 players by the end of next week.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Nope. That line, by the way, comes from a site-topping poll on the Express\u2019 football page asking their readers to vote on whether they think Jude Bellingham should be in England\u2019s World Cup squad.<\/p>\n Reader, we will not be looking at the results of that poll. There are limits to what even we are willing to put ourselves through for you.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n And it is now a Mediawatch armed with their own accidental admission that Daily Express sh*thouse headlines work exactly as we always knew they did, that we bring you this similarly constructed doozy.<\/p>\n Arsenal news: First summer transfer announced as Declan Rice faces being sacrificed<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n You know what it looks like. We know what it looks like. They know what it looks like. With any luck by this time tomorrow some poor overworked lackey in the Reach content factory will accidentally insert a throwaway line into some piece or other saying Arsenal have announced Rice\u2019s shock departure.<\/p>\n They haven\u2019t, of course. They haven\u2019t even done anything. Not with sufficient recency to constitute news, at least.<\/p>\n We\u2019ll concede there is an unusual element to the \u2018first transfer announced\u2019 here. Porto confirmed last week that Jakub Kiwior\u2019s loan from the Gunners had, as expected, been made permanent. It was even used for this exact same sh*thouse purpose by the exact same source<\/strong> at the time.<\/p>\n Yet Arsenal themselves didn\u2019t actually confirm it until Monday, and oddly did so in a routine \u2018loan watch\u2019 style round-up on their website rather than in a standalone farewell.<\/p>\n Still, though. However curiously they went about it, Arsenal confirmed on Monday morning something known almost a week ago and it thus has no place as a housery generator in any headline two days later.<\/p>\n And the Rice sacrifice? The Sacririce, if you will? Why that is nothing more nor less than noted Arsenal analyst Paul Scholes saying Rice should stay out of position at right-back for the remaining games of the season after Ben White\u2019s knee injury.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n
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Line of enquiry<\/h2>\n
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Vindication!<\/h2>\n
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No sacrifice too great<\/h2>\n
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